Bastcat Ninety9
High-concept creativity.
Designed to embrace artistic expression.
Design gives it function. Art gives it soul.
Rooted in Fine Arts
Art has the power to reveal the world both as it is and as it could be—Transforming perceptions through individual expression and awakening. This is one of the main functions of an artist.
Think in color, speak in shapes.
AI + Digital Art
When language falters, art finishes the sentence.
Bastcat Ninety9
The Artist's Journal
This is a fictionalized truth.
{because you probably wouldn't believe me anyways.}
Jan. 14th
01:44Ok, I've been busy. Creating in places other than this journal-- This online dabble. There's something much bigger going on, this is just the surface, a small test area.This was written in private. Just to get some things off my chest. It's not polished or structured. There's probably grammatical and spelling errors. So what?(If you're reading this you're reading something that wasn't made for you but still needed to be shared.)I don't care what you think.
I just want you to think.That's the point. I'm sharing this because the emotions existed. The feelings, the sensations were real. That's what matters.How much am I willing to say outloud? Is there a limit or a measurement? Does it matter if I've already "crossed the line"? -- that's how this story came about; becasue I "went too far"But whatever. Too far is a relative term based on a point of reference. Not a fact. The moment private expression steps into public space and doesn't apologize for being what it is. That's the risk (of authentic expression).
Jan. 6th
00:23I don't feel like writing tonight-- avoidant out of self-preservation. A defense strategy, not a flaw. Highly sensitive, hyper-aware, adaptive coping that protects from being hurt or misunderstood, mostly. It's a double-edged sword.
image/text date Oct 2025:
This story is not about what happened, it's about what was experienced. It's about what was felt - the unspoken- the subjective- (anything is possible). This story starts in many ways on multiple days. In different timelines. This story is nonlinear (like time). Any page could be the beginning or the end. As awareness slides back & forth & skips through time...
Jan. 4th
(I fell asleep at the laptop)
_
Jan. 2nd
Just about 23:55Here I am. Turning through the pages, I wrote. Most of it is not what I want to share. But this feels important.I was lost in the energy and emotions of others. Bound by obligation, guilt, pressure, trapped by judgments and circumstance. I had been depleted. It happens to the best of us. But this was different....I had spent so much time taking care of and adjusting for others over the past few years —people I couldn't reach.The authentic connection to myself had been interrupted.
So much was on the line...I just disconnected......and now here I am, right where I left myself.
Except, this time, I'm dialed in.
image/text from summer 2025: 1,257 miles approximately.
One thousand two hundred & fifty-seven miles approximately-- mostly no radio. I had also been avoiding my thoughts and feelings, avoiding myself. Just survive, get by unnoticed by the energies that surrounded me. The 1st 18 hours were......dedicated to quieting my mind-- being still while the heat of anger dissipated. Eighteen hours, more like 22, twenty-four sit with myself, the sound of the road & traffic.The vibration of the road thru the tin can of my "value" car - every strip of pavement. Every mile- I didn't want to stop. I had to leave..."
Dec.31
Just before midnight...The one-two punch of 2024/25. This jumbo year, even in the last hours, went out revealing and exposing. Life as is.From about May 10th, 2024, to the present day: a series of life-altering moments. Identity crushing, reality-bending, extreme character development......and then, I had to watch my father die. Slowly and painfully. In the hospital for months, followed by hospice. He was laid to rest this time last year. The months that followed didn't improve...more drama, false narratives, and heartbreak. 2024 was an attempt to destroy me.So I left...
"I don't know what the date is without looking- I don't even care. When I arrive, I'll be there. But today I just find it unnecessarily draining, but it's the energy around me." Art: Rapid Vibration by Yvonne Claire ©2025-26
On the go, the majority of 2025.I traveled almost 20,000 miles. In search of peace, in search of myself...
the parts lost. More reroutes, misdirection--
Then,I came to another hard stop.And here I am.My final lesson of 2025: There's no outrunning yourself.A snap back to reality-- "Wherever you go, there you are."###
Dec. 30
Approx.10:40PSTI can start this story a million ways. Tell it over and over, from any point (in my life), but what's the point?Of this story, to get it all down and see it outside of myself- in black and white. This jumble of 24 months, I'm shutting down; a jumbo-sized 2-for-1 of "what the fuck?".One hit after another; I question the events I've lived.
In deep metaphysical ways, spiritual, in raw, everyday ways.I've used logic and reason. I've researched and talked to professionals. And still--Sometimes words escape me, sometimes I dance around them, or trip over them, spilling them across pages in a scribbled mess of emotions...###
_~Top Art: Explanation. Bottom Art: (No.) The other day.
{by: Yvonne Claire ©2025-26~}
Art, excerpts & reworks from the journal of Bastcat Ninety9
a fictionalized truth, by Yvonne Claire.
All Rights reserved. Copyright 2025-2026.This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real people
or events is purely coincidental.No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, AI, or mechanical.